Meltem’s Story

I was born into a very dysfunctional family. My birth parents struggled heavily with substance abuse and my biological father was extremely abusive. We often had police and child services at our house, and at 8 years old my siblings and I were removed from our mother’s care. We became wards of the state and got lost in the foster care system.
With all the disruptions and instability growing up I struggled to believe that I could ever be someone of value. We moved from home to home, often in abusive, neglectful, and unstable environments, with attempts to report a severe incident dismissed.
I was engaged at 18 and married at 19, with hope that I was on the way out of my messy childhood. I thought all that I had gone through would be put behind me, but we struggled incredibly and clashed in a lot of ways, often not knowing why. After 6 years I walked out. I refused to believe that my husband could actually love me for me.
I had made some poor choices that led me down a very dark and destructive path. I was working in the Out of Home Care sector for foster children for two years. I became highly triggered, and I burnt out because I was working from an unhealed place; my wounds were still very much open. At this time a colleague referred me to Destiny Haven.
When I was finally at the end of myself, I contacted Destiny and filled out the application form. The first 5 months were so difficult; I felt like that little foster kid again even though I was 26 years old now. Each day, God tugged at me gently and as I continued to discover my wrong beliefs and challenge them with the truth.
I hadn’t seen my husband in nearly 6 months, and we had rarely spoken in the last year. After a time I felt compelled to reach out to him, deeply touched by revelations of God’s unconditional love I was experiencing. He hesitantly agreed to counselling together, and a joined healing journey began and flourished.
I was eventually given a graduation date by Janine, and I mentioned that I’d like to rededicate or renew my vows to my husband and she was fully supportive. We planned a renewal ceremony for the day prior to my graduation (you can read more about this on page 3).
God has found me in the darkest places and nudged me there. He waited and gave me the choice to fail, but He stayed right where He was. It was when I turned to look at Him that I saw who He was and I saw my reflection in Him, the way He made me. He is the endless giver, and my heart is changed and is given to Him in return.