Vulnerability is a Strength NOT a Weakness

As 2020 unfolds with endless possibilities, I reflect on all God has miraculously provided for Destiny Haven since our opening in February 2007. I don’t make new year resolutions – but I do believe it is important to learn from past lessons as we lean into the future. Stillness and reflection appear to open up an emotionally clutter-free space that allows feeling and thinking, questioning and even dreaming to occur. Of the many lessons I’ve learned this year, the stand-out has been how “self(ie)” focussed our culture is. So fully absorbed in our public profile, many concentrate too little on their inner world and ensuring that their lives reflect the beauty of selfless living. I have made many mistakes since Destiny Haven opened. I have made decisions that have been difficult and others where people have been inadvertently hurt. At times, I have closed my aching heart, thinking that it would be easier to not connect at all – when women leave prematurely or are asked to leave because they are unwilling to make positive choices to change – the fallout is often ongoing. However, closing my heart only serves to make life smaller and isolated. This year, I continue to choose to wake up every day and love those who may or may not love back, who may or may not stay in my life, who may or may not be loyal. This is vulnerability – not weakness, but courageous. To love fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate moments in time, to fully engage with others, knowing there are no guarantees – it takes courage to live authentically. Learning to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live more deeply with joy, gratitude, and grace.

Being vulnerable means being willing to present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, embracing self-acceptance that leads to a greater sense of belonging. It means choosing to be real and honest even if it hurts; choosing to let our true selves be seen; choosing daily to let go of who we think we are supposed to be and simply embracing who we are. To truly experience connection, embracing vulnerability is a risk that cannot be avoided.

“You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness. The irony is that we disown our difficult stories to appear more whole or more acceptable. But our wholeness, even our wholeheartedness actually depends on the integration of all of our experiences, including the falls” – Brene Brown.

One of my team wisely spoke tonight about 2020 vision – clarity both in the natural, and the spiritual. May we choose to walk more fully inside our own stories this year, knowing we are worthy – worthy of love, respect, and wholehearted living. May 2020 be an adventure of clear vision both in the natural and the spiritual realms.

Janine Epere

CEO Destiny Haven